Seasons of change

As I sit on my couch and enjoy the cool air of a august evening it brings the feeling of melancholy with it. You know fall is around the corner and summer is drawing to a close when you can hear crickets. I know that you can hear crickets all throughout summer, but when you hear them during the daytime... summer is ending. I feel that my life is going so fast if only it could slow down.

As a child, I was never overly impressed with summer. I had the usual summer trips to the grandparents, and lazy days of bike rides and climbing trees. It wasn't until just last year that I truly began to appreciate summers. Something about Kenny Chesney's song summertime that made me realize what summer was really about. To have laid back schedules, picnics, and the sun on your skin. Or the fireflies that shimmer a pretty shade of fluorescent green as the kids catch them in mason jars.

This morning the sadness of another season gone so fast struck me hard. But what really hurt was to know Raven starts high school this year. I was sorting my pictures a few weeks ago and looking at pictures of Raven's birth day. One picture in particular is Duane sitting next to me holding Raven for the first time. You know the picture of your first child, and the look of awe at what you have created, that picture. Anyway, I remember my mother kept telling Duane to look up so she could take the picture, but Duane couldn't keep his eyes of Raven. I don't know maybe it's the fact I'm starting something new this year in my parenting, or that I have found my 9Th not gray, but stone cold white hair. All I know is I don't want summer to end, because I'm afraid of what fall will bring.